Some of us are proud perfectionists. We admire the way every object in the house has its assigned place and function. We don’t mind scrutinizing (or admiring) our work 10 times over just to be extra sure there are no mistakes. Some of us, however, are not-so-proud perfectionists. Some are very familiar with triple and quadruple-checking our own work and doing so from an uncomfortable feeling of fear. “What if something is incorrect or out of line?” is a common question that haunts.
The tendency to desire perfectionism may apply whether you welcome this phenomenon with open arms or are mildly ashamed. The common denominator in people who strive for perfectionism boils down to one thing: self-worth. Perfectionism comes from fear – i.e., “What will they think of me … what if I’m wrong … is my work good enough, etc.” Fear comes from self-doubt and insecurity. The more insecure we are with our existence, the more we want to prevent mistakes or answer for our wrongdoings. To get to the root cause, self-doubt comes directly from your self-worth. What do you think of you, how do you view yourself as a human? The answers reflect the measure of your own self-worth.
If the root cause of your perfectionism is due to your self-worth, the best way to improve is to increase your self-worth. Imagine living in a world where you are willing to embrace all feelings, positive and negative. Imagine how your life would be different if you were comfortable with living an unapologetic authentic life. No lying, no masking your feelings and no shaming yourself for being less than perfect. This kind of self-confidence is available to you. It is a skill you can work toward building over time, just as if you go to the gym and hire a personal trainer.
Perfectionism stems from fear; fear stems from self-doubt and insecurity; self-doubt and insecurity come from your self-worth. When your self-confidence is sky high, my friends, when you have your own back no matter what … your world opens up to so many more opportunities than you ever thought possible. Try it on and envision a very self-confident you. Can you see how the need for perfectionism dwindles?