Do you spend too much time wishing things were different? Perhaps you long for a new job, a bigger raise or a closer commute. On the surface, some of these wishes sound positive and encouraging. But if you dig deeper and think about the meanings behind your wishes, you’re probably not doing yourself any favors.
Firstly, when you wish for different things, you are fighting reality. You are convincing yourself, by wishfully thinking, that your current situation or your current state could be better. The more you wish, the more you believe you’re either missing out or that you’re disadvantaged. Is there an upside to thinking you’re getting the short end of the stick? Perhaps it would better serve you to focus on the things you have right now. You may argue that that makes you feel bad. You may say, “The whole reason I wish is because I don’t like the way things are right now!” If so, this is a major indication that you are caught up in your mind and it’s time to hit your mental reset button.
Secondly, wishing makes you feel terrible. Wishing is the act of spending precious brain energy longing for things you don’t have (or can’t have). And that kind of painful longing probably makes you feel quite bad. Yet you do it over and over without realizing you’re causing your own pain. The harder you wish for different things, the worse it is going to make you feel. And even if your wish was granted, it will be a temporary relief. It will only be a matter of time until you start wishing for more…
The main problem with wishing is that you are not managing your brain and you deny reality. Wishing for things can make you feel out of control. Wishing for things you don’t have makes you feel horrible. So, stop the wishing, start accepting and clean up your thinking in a way that serves you well.