Do you spend too much time wishing things were different, wishing for more in life? Perhaps you long for a new job, a bigger raise or a closer commute (see Post #20). On the surface, some of these wishes sound positive and encouraging. But if you dig deeper and think about the meanings behind your wishes, you are probably causing yourself unnecessary suffering.
First, when you want things to be different than they are, when you are wishing for more in life, you fight reality. You run the risk of convincing yourself, by wishfully thinking, that your current situation or your current state could and should be better. The more you wish, the more you believe you’re either missing out or you’ve earned the short end of the stick. The act of wishing equates to resisting reality. Is there an upside to thinking you’re at a disadvantage?
Might it better serve you to focus on the things you have right now? You may argue that it makes you feel bad, that it serves as a painful reminder of what you don’t have. You may say, “The whole reason I wish is because I don’t like the way things are right now!” If so, this is a critical indication that you are caught up in your mind and it’s time to hit your mental reset button.
Secondly, wishing for more in life makes you feel terrible. Wishing is the act of spending precious brain energy longing for things you don’t have (or can’t have). And that kind of painful longing probably makes you feel quite pitiful. Yet, you do it over and over without realizing you’re causing your own pain.
As you spend greater lengths of time wishing, the worse it is going to make you feel. And even if your wish were granted, it will be a temporary relief. It will only be a matter of time until you start wishing for more in life…
The problem with wishing is that you are not utilizing your thoughts in a way that move your life forward. Wishing is a way to deny reality and cause undue suffering.