#12 What is Your Why?

Why do you do what you do?  I encourage you to write down your answers to this basic question.  As you review your answers on paper (or on screen), do they feel good?  Perhaps your answers bring about genuine sadness … or a sense of feeling lost.  Maybe your answers are so superficial that you don’t wish to know the person who wrote them.

If your “Why” is more along the lines of, “This is my passion … it is fulfilling … there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing…” then congratulations!  If, however, your answers are less than thrilling or are flat-out depressing, they should be addressed.  Because if you don’t quickly address the negative emotions of feeling stuck, bitter, confused, etc., then you will continue to ignore.  And when you continue to ignore, the feelings build up and eventually they combust in one form or another.  You can try to run, but you can’t hide forever.

Perhaps you are suppressing or sweeping your feelings under the rug.  Now what?  The best advice I can provide here: know that you don’t have to change your job (or your circumstances) in order to be happy and fulfilled.  I know this is difficult to believe at first.  I will tell you that the source of your unhappiness, confusion or negative feelings is not due to your job, boss or external entity.  Rather, your way of thinking is causing you to feel your negative emotions.  You may blame your career or something external, but I promise, the root cause of your problems is due to your own beliefs. Blaming external causes for your feelings depletes you because it makes you feel powerless.

All of us may feel unhappy at times.  We like to point fingers at the supposed sources of our pain.  What we don’t realize, and this is a significant life coaching lesson to my clients, is that the sources of our pain are not other people, or our jobs and they are not external circumstances.  The source of our own emotional pain is due to the way we choose to label the world around us.

Categories: Your Identity